1) See your husband as God does – righteous with His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21). One night I was laying in bed facing my husband who was sleeping. God said to me “do you know how I see Lenny? I see him righteous with My righteousness. That’s who he is and that’s how you can see him also”. That was really eye opening and quite a picture. My husband is righteous – with God’s righteousness! If God sees him that way, then he is.
I trust God and His Word, so I know that I can also trust my husband who is righteous.
2) Appreciate your husband and let him know what you appreciate. His character, intelligence, what he has done for you during the day, how he treats others, his work ethic, the great father that he is, for listening to you, caring about your feelings, going to work and providing for you, protecting you, helping with dinner, the laundry, a diaper change etc. Look for things throughout the day and don’t miss an opportunity to let him know.
3) Admire your husband. Accept him at face value. Think about him during the day and let him know. What do you admire-his skills, abilities, achievements, ideas, dreams, manly body etc…
Simple rule – Appreciate or admire 3 things a day. It’s really easy once you start looking..
4) Respect your husband. Your husband should be number one in your life. Yes, even before the children. The children will grow up with a firm foundation when they see that their dad is the head of the house and mom treats him with respect. After all, God sees him righteous with His righteousness, so that makes him a pretty awesome man! Think about how you treat others. Your husband deserves at least that much respect and much more.
5) Look at him when he is speaking to you. When we are being spoken to by others, we usually look at them. It’s a simple way to let them know that we are listening and value what they are saying.
We females are very good at multitasking. I realized that I would continue to do things while Len spoke to me. What is that saying? It’s saying to him, just like it would to anyone that is talking to me, that you’re not worth me stopping and giving my full attention, that what you are saying is not really that important.
6) Be happy. Happy people have happy relationships. Smile. Be happy to see him and happy to be around him.
7) Don’t try to control your husband, not even mildly. He’s a grown man and doesn’t want his mother for his wife.
Fear is often the reason for control. What are you afraid of? Remember, you trust God and because of that, you can trust your husband.
Expect the best and watch him excel.
8) Receive graciously. Your husband wants to know that he can make your life better. He wants to know that he can contribute to your happiness. When he offers something, take it with a smile.
9) Be pleasable. Since men are so driven to please their women and make them happy, if he feels he can’t succeed, he’s going to start to feel useless and bad about himself.
10) Take care of yourself. That’s an easy way to make yourself pleasable. Do 3 things a day that you like to do. They don’t have to be “big” things. Maybe your morning cup of coffee, a puzzle, working out, talking to a friend or family member, taking a hot bath, listening to some music, a few minutes alone with your feet up, reading, watching your favorite show etc…
Have questions? We’d love to hear from you!
Believing the best for your marriage,
Lori
